“Overnight success stories take a long time.” –Steve Jobs
You are stuck. While I am an executive and not a life coach, I uncover stuck-ness at some point in my coaching cycle with every client. But just like everything else in life, the same forces apply to the intangibles as to what we can see and touch. Good luck trying to eat a steak in one bite. And when my clients get stuck, 9 times out of 10, that is what they are trying to do. They forget that on the other side of the plate is a knife. But should they even have to think about the knife? More on that later.
Realize your big goals and aspirations will not happen overnight. It may even take years to achieve the success to which you aspire. And that is okay. It took 11 years for our memoir, Radical Sabbatical, to become a hit. In fact, it gained more momentum in two months than it did in the previous decade.
From the get-go, we chose to accept whatever fate had in store for our book, celebrating every sale, every positive review, and every interview. This state of gratitude and acceptance kept us motivated to promote something we put our hearts and souls into constantly. And today, TV execs are calling.
Shifting your mindset to one of acceptance and, thus, long-term motivation requires a focus on developing habits—of giving yourself the space to start from the beginning. Going back to the eating metaphor, do we think, “If I don’t use this knife to cut this steak, it’s never going to fit in my mouth?” No, we unconsciously grab the knife and cut because it is inherent in the process of eating. So, when approaching a big goal, start by executing on the easiest things required to accomplish it, and then decide when you will do each of those things every day to make constant incremental progress.
Neuroscience agrees. From the moment we wake up in the morning, 70 percent of our behavior is habitual. Habits like brushing your teeth, having dessert after dinner, and scrolling Instagram during lunch did not materialize out of thin air, we learned them. The same process will need to take place to instill new habits.
Relishing our wins, big and small, sparks a dopamine release in the brain, providing an immediate dose of happiness and motivation. You will be pining for the next challenge, knowing the aftermath feels so good.
Set goals with journal prompts
From the onset of setting goals, intention-setting is critical to being successful. So, take out a notebook and pen and use these three journal prompts.
- What would I like to happen?
- What else would I improve in my life once I have achieved X?
- Have I set this goal before? What do I need to change to be successful this time?
Set micro-goals
What matters most in staying motivated is not making big, immediate changes but meaningful progress. Setting the bar low from the start allows you to clear it immediately. This mode also requires a shift in mindset from, “I have to find success now,” to, “I want to learn and grow to live a fulfilling life always. Remember, lasting change does not happen overnight. So instead of shifting your wakeup from 7 a.m. to 5 a.m., try 6:45 a.m. for a week. Increase by 15 minutes every week to acclimate so that you can operate without significant side effects. Before embarking on a considerable change, think of how you can create meaningful momentum through incremental steps.
Celebrate the small wins
Every time you achieve a micro-goal, reward yourself with something intrinsically pleasurable. This positive anticipation reinforces and accelerates the formation of a habit. Make a list of ways to honor yourself every time you accomplish a goal. Get a small gift for yourself, dance to your favorite tune, read a magazine, watch an episode of your favorite TV show, or enjoy a piece of chocolate. I love writing down each victory and why I am proud of myself. Keep it simple and affordable.
Know your “why”
I genuinely believe the difference between succeeding and failing in life is knowing your “why.” I have seen the evidence repeatedly in the way my clients transform their lives after they determine their powerful why. If you do not already know yours, read my 3-step process here. I have clients who display visual cues in their workspace—quotes, pictures, sentimental items—to keep their why front and center. That constant reminder is key to staying the course when roadblocks—or as I call them, growth opportunities—test you.
Boost motivation by regulating dopamine
While we usually associate dopamine with rewards, neuroscientists have recently discovered dopamine is more about motivating us to pursue something more significant. Finding a balance between pleasure and pain will effectively control your dopamine releases and, therefore, help you stay motivated. This is another reason clearing small goals is so important: you will be removing a challenge regularly, thus keeping dopamine levels right. Other ways to increase your motivation are: daily physical activity, breaking your projects into smaller chunks, and getting enough sleep.
Remember, even the smallest of wins will add up over time and become significant markers of progress and fulfillment. So, decide today to start making meaningful, incremental changes, and in one year, you will be so much better for it.
